you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this just has baby written all over it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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