am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
