I wanna passion pit in your ass
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
