My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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