Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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