I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
