cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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