I heard we made out
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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