ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
