he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
