Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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