You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
