I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
