idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
