"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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