So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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