I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
