All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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