She is in my trunk
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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