i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
