TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
