i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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