worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
