sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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