i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
