Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
