u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
