I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We're like a lot better than the average bears
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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