The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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