Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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