my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
