I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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