This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
