So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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