I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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