but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
