does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
