google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This house was built for laser tag.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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