Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
