I'm really into asian looking animals
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It was confusing and full of hummus
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
