dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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