that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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