Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
