I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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