I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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