Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
