no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
