You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
