Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
