Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my being single is dangerous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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