Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
