I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
