You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
