Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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