if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
