I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
