If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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