capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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