While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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